I have missed writing. I have missed this blog. It is not lost on me that the last time I posted was right after the inauguration in 2017. It doesn't seem as long as that but in some ways it feels like a lifetime. I guess that is how time goes when you get older or maybe it is just in these times. So, over the past week, I started to get the itch. The itch to put pen to paper or in this case, fingers to keyboard. I thought to myself, what would I say? What do I want to talk about to those willing to listen? Then, yesterday a close friend's mom passed away. She is a special friend to me, with a special family and her mom fought the hardest fight until her last breath. That brought me back to community and family and how hard it is to say goodbye. It made me think of courage and strength and resilience and fight. And hope.
So then I went through my photos on my phone and I just selected ones that seem to hit me at this very moment. Seems like they are fitting my thought processes, except you might not think the spoons work. That picture was taken on a recent trip to Asheville with another family who had moved away. It was a weekend of amazing food, laughter, lightness, friendship, exploration, sunshine (and freezing cold weather). It fits.
My thoughts turn to my dad. I have written about him here and on Facebook. My dad. My father who is not the person he was and won't be again. It breaks my heart to a million pieces when I think about how my mom has been cheated out of a stage of her life with her husband. It breaks my heart to think about how people will remember him when he passes as he is now, not as man he was. It breaks my heart that he is hard to be around because of various things he does or things he says. It breaks my heart that he is going away, each day a little farther. It breaks my heart that he is a constant concern and worry for my mom and the toll it takes on her. It breaks my heart that she is so far from me. It breaks my heart that I mourn for my dad yet he is still living and breathing on this earth.
But then, then I think about the man he is now.
Unlike many with his disease, he is mostly happy. He is blissfully unaware of what has been taken from him and those around him. He is extremely childlike. He loves to give compliments - the same compliments to everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) regardless of age, gender, race, size, level of wealth. Think about that. All he wants to do is play solitaire and watch videos on his phone of his grandchildren and wife, or listen to Mozart which will always bring him back to talking about his family. He will go into an old family portrait every day from when he was younger and say hi to everyone in his family, most of which are deceased. His mom. His dad. His brothers. He is all about connection with people and trying to make them smile. For many who encounter him, they may think he is weird or that something is wrong with him or annoying with his constant coughing, but underneath he is just a guy trying to connect with people. Still. When I say I love him, he is visibly moved and surprised and appreciative. He is also amazing at completing art projects at his day care center. So much so that I ask my mom in our daily (sometimes more than once daily) phone calls what he has made that day. He proudly hands them to her at the end of the day and is angry when they can't be brought home because it is being displayed on the wall. The details and focus clear in his work. My dad. Then and now, I love him.
OK, time to put on Runaway Baby by Bruno Mars and let's get cooking.
So, I am really loving making salads again at home and having charcuterie boards. Christmas this year was ALL about the cheese board, starting with my husband's gift which was an oversized wine barrel top. During the holidays many a night were spent with a cocktail, a warm fire and a charcuterie spread. It was downright heavenly.
Salads are more than just lettuce and dressing. You can add olives, sundried tomatoes, artichoke hearts, hearts of palm, roasted peppers, chick peas, purple or orange tomatoes, red or sweet onion, cucumbers, etc. Be creative. Look for what will make the bowl pretty. So, while I don't have a specific recipe this post, I urge you to think on a fresh salad and a nice cheese board. Dinner, a different way.
Have a happy day, everyone and enjoy!
