Be a friend to the whole human race

 

One must see in every human being only that is worthy of praise. When this is done, one can be a friend to the whole human race. If, however, we look at people from the standpoint of their faults, then being a friend to them is a formidable task....Thus it is incumbent on us, when we direct our gaze toward other people, to see where they excel, not where they fail."

-Abdul-Baha

"Be a friend to the whole human race."

At work, our team has been attending a four-part series every Monday entitled Deeper than Diversity presented by Eric Dozier and Homa Tavangar from the Oneness Lab (Oneness Lab). This has been a tremendously interesting series and I am legitimately sad the last session was yesterday. There were so many moments in the training that made me pause and reflect on my own behavior and my responsibility to the world. In fact, several posts could be dedicated to the lessons learned but I will focus on one here. 

A theme presented is that humans treat each other in a very transactional way and not as friends or family. Once we start to treat people with connection, then the world becomes different. As they taught, once we focus on the Five Roots of Real Relationship - Frequency, Proximity, Imagination, Reciprocity, Knowledge, then we start viewing all humans in a more connected way. This resonates with me. It makes me think about how I approach just about everyone I come across in my life.  

“Do not be satisfied until each one with whom you are concerned is to you as a member of your family. Regard each one either as a father, or as a brother, or as a sister, or as a mother, or as a child. If you can attain to this, your difficulties will vanish, you will know what to do.”

-Abdul-Baha

Yesterday was a tough day for a multitude of reasons. I have a fair amount going on in my world at the moment - work and personal life are a bit stressful. Not unlike everyone else but I was feeling it a bit more than usual yesterday. I was looking forward to getting into my car and having an easy night at home. It is getting darker earlier and that means I am looking forward to hunkering down in the evenings, lighting a candle in the kitchen or a fire in the fireplace. In my head, the quote kept coming into my head.

"Be a friend to the whole human race." 

I walked outside at 4:30 p.m. and the sun was shining. I noticed something on my car window. Immediately I wonder if I somehow received a parking ticket. Then I notice that another car aside from an empty space also has this piece of paper on their window and it does not look like a parking ticket. It looks like a ripped piece of paper. I walk over to my car and take a look at what was left for me.

Transactional, at the very least. 

I am used to parallel parking because of many years of city living. I may not be great at a lot of things - I tend to be pretty solid at parallel parking. Was it my best parking job? No, definitely not. Was it my worst? Definitely not. Could I have taken greater care to park within both lines? Absolutely. Had I blocked in the car that I could see? No. No I did not. Could I have done things differently? Absolutely, I own my part and feel badly if this person felt in any way burdened because they were not able to leave their parking space as easily as they would like. Having said this, does this person have these printed notes in their car waiting for the moment to arise? The amount of negativity and resentment that one must harbor to print, rip, place for a fellow human to find is almost mind-boggling. The unhappiness that someone must feel to assume that I purposefully tried to make their life difficult made me stop. It takes so much more energy to live like this. Would this person have left a note for a friend or family member? I choose to live differently. 

"Be a friend to the whole human race."

Time to put on One Love by Bob Marley and let's get cooking. Actually......not tonight. Tonight you don't need to cook. Last night I went home and sat on the couch with my daughter, ate delivered pizza and watched two movies. We didn't do household chores. We didn't work on college applications. We didn't pay bills. We didn't even study all that much. We sat together with our Chappy, and we watched one Spiderman movie....and then another. We laughed and we were brought along for the ride of the films. It was an amazing night, blissful. So tonight, get take-out or delivery and focus on having a simple moment alone or with your family or friends. Take the time. It's worth it.

Peace

What moves you?

 

                                                                -AK

What emotions spark when you see a particular photograph? 

                                     -Mystery of Love, Sufjan Stevens

Are there songs that make you pause, or dream, or feel something often hidden inside your core? 

                  -Amazon

What about that feeling when you turn the very last page of a book you haven't been able to put down? 

In other words, what moves you? 

I am constantly chasing times when I am able to fully be in the moment. It is a deep breath worth of clarity. It can last 5 or 10 seconds or it can last an hour. It is the feeling when you find a bit of space, and you are subconsciously giving yourself permission to pause for this simple moment. 

I am on a plane flying to California and I put on music when it has been too long since I have listened to a song. My senses awaken and I just start writing....furiously. I am sitting in a field with my sister in law and our newborns. The sun is shining and I am feeling a sense of peace float over me because we are just there, enjoying each other and our surroundings. I am finishing a yoga practice and I sit up after shavasana and my body is fully relaxed and clear because I have breathed and worked through the clutter. I am sitting at a table surrounded by friends and we are in the midst of a real conversation and I look around at my people filled with love. I am in the kitchen making dinner and a song comes on that begs me to dance...and I dance. 

Let me be clear. I believe these times are gifts and they do not come often. In fact, I can go weeks without one because I am running. Running. Running through life. Too stimulated. Too in my head. Too distracted by my phone. Too involved with anxiety and stress. Too wound up to find the necessary space to allow myself the grace. Too concerned with the world around me and inside me to take that single deep breath. To find the good. To feel. To just be. 

Time to put on Guillotine by Jon Bellion and let's get cooking!!! Today's recipe is one that is waiting for us to make at home tonight. My sister in law makes this and when I had it for the first time it just hit the spot - perfect bites and a perfect meal to make when the air is a bit more crisp. Do NOT ask me why the only online version I can find seems to be on the Hallmark Channel website? BUT.....anyways.............

Beef Stew with Farro and Mushrooms

Enjoy this day. Peace..........................

Rethinking Sunday?

 

For many people, myself included, Sundays can be a bit of a downer. People call today Sunday Funday??  For me, not so much. It is the last day of the week. It is an end. It may be a day to rest but it is also a day I need to be productive for the busy week ahead. It is a day to say goodbye and rarely is one people greet enthusiastically. Lately, as the day wears on, I tend to be more in my head, quiet, struggling to be in the moment and seeing the promise of what is to come. My breathing is more shallow and I can feel my muscles constrict with every minute. I am anticipating the future, the problems that await, the stress that is looming over my shoulders waiting to create the weight of the week. This impenetrable restlessness I have been feeling for a month or two seems to always culminate on a Sunday. 

I need to own this. I need to recognize my feelings, be kind to myself for having them and then question....is that how I want my Sunday to go...every week? Let's try again. Let's get to basics. 

It is Sunday. Sunday, November 7, 2021. 2021. Almost 8 years since I began writing this blog. I am sitting in my kitchen at the white and gray marble island. It is a gray day but it looks like blue skies and sun are trying to burn through. Fighting. A fire burns gently in fireplace.  As I often need sound around me, my favorite playlist is on around me. In front of me and to the side is a vase of flowers from Sage's senior night that smell fresh and bright, a 3-wick candle that burns pretty constantly in my house, a silver bowl of white rocks, mini pumpkins and acorns. On my second cup of coffee, I hear the swish of the washer and the shifting in the dryer. The book I am currently reading is next to me, patiently waiting for me to open it and grace its pages. Need a visual?

Outside trees are in varying stages of fall. While we get more color towards the end of November, beginning of December, a couple of backyard trees show off a little now. Shedding the past to lay bare, providing space to those around it. 

Sosie came home for a brief visit but went back to Auburn late last night. Our house and my heart were full when the four of us ate dinner and watched football on TV last night. Simple moment. Yesterday, Sagey had two soccer games in Columbia and scored the winning goal against the number 1, undefeated team in the league. I had my covid booster shot on Friday and haven't felt 100% this weekend. This morning, Kelley took Chappy on a trail run (yes, he knows the word - run - and reacts in the cutest way when it is said) and Sage is sleeping soundly in bed. It is a typical Sunday..........

Break down this very moment - what do you hear, what do you see, what do you smell? Being comfortable in that very space is what I am seeking. It may happen for 20 seconds. It may happen for 20 minutes but seeking that and leaning into it......breathe deeply and feel your shoulders relax slightly.

I have been reading Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey. I would like to listen to it as well but being visual, I need to read it first. I watched the Kid Cudi documentary on Friday night. As I have written, I have been thinking a lot about being comfortable in vulnerability and what that means, what that looks like. I have been thinking about spending my life searching for an outlet for creativity. A way to express, to share. Time to stretch and push away the boundaries but that will take a lot of courage. Am I ready? 

Time to put on Mystery of Love by Sufjan Stevens and let's get cooking. 

"Oh, oh will wonders ever cease?

Blessed be the mystery of love"

I have blogged about this recipe before but going through my mom's cookbooks recently I found the original copy. I looked at this recipe for the first time maybe 25 years ago. 25 fucking years. This recipe has evolved quite a bit over time but then so have I and I hope that growing never ceases as hard as it can be feeling those growing pains. 

Peace and enjoy...

Opening Eyes, Feeling Restless, Taking it In...

 

I have walked by this statue so many times and have barely registered its existence, even though it is 5 minutes from my house and in a place I visit weekly. One day I was waiting for a friend outside of a restaurant and I looked at her. I registered her beauty and took her in for a minute. I found myself taking many pictures from different angles that do not do her justice. I like to think she appreciated the attention. 

Last weekend I flew to DC, a place where I lived for 6 years. Flying into National Airport is always special because you get a bird's eye view of the magic that is the landscape there. In the cab after I landed, we drove by the Lincoln Monument. Again, my eyes were opened. 

I find that I am moved to write when I travel. My senses are awakened and I am out of my normal routine. Things hit me differently. I find it is easier to be in the present when I am traveling. I take the extra moment to notice things the first time I see them. I find I appreciate the small things that I see almost more than the larger than life sights, or I enjoy the larger sights as part of a landscape, to see where it all fits. 

There is something fascinating about sitting in an airport. Observing family dynamics, people who live to work and people who work to live, celebrities trying to travel like the masses and the masses trying to travel like celebrities, people going home, people going someplace new, sadness hidden or on display and excitement from those little and big, old and young. People comfortable in their own skin and people still trying to figure themselves out. People struggling and people leaning into their struggles. Granted being in an airport does limit our view due to socioeconomic reasons but it is still an interesting lens to watch a slice of the world.

Time to listen to Up, Up and Away by Kid Cudi and let's get cooking. 

Creating beauty with food. Some people eat just to eat - get in the calories and sustain themselves. Some people eat because it is comforting - stress eating. Some people don't want to eat even though their bodies are screaming for attention. Some people truly enjoy food - the smell, beauty, atmosphere it creates and take care in its preparation. There are some people who do all of these things every week. I find I love color in my food. You can slice tomatoes and put them on a plate with mozzarella and basil. Sprinkle olive oil and balsamic vinegar and call it a day. OR - you can slice different color tomatoes, put them on a decorative dish, use different shapes of mozzarella, add blue cheese, add pesto, use a balsamic glaze, sprinkle toasted pine nuts - which plate are you more interested in eating. When I spend the extra 5 minutes, it just makes me a little bit happier. Just something to think about. 

Have an incredible day.