Fall into Winter: Time and Soup

It is the holiday season!!! The years fly by as the days trickle sometimes. Amazing how time can appear to people. This fall was marked by lots of change. Many of my peers are part of the sandwich generation - taking care of their own children but then also taking care of parents (or grandparents). This is an incredibly stressful and difficult situation but also pretty special because it brings families closer together. My brother and I flew to PA to help my mom move my dad into a residential center for memory care. The night before we moved him I had a moment where I thought my dad has been in this house with my mom for the past 48 years and with my mom years more. What a change this will be, for everyone. It was a moment where I allowed myself to sit with that thought. First of all, it was the first time my brother and I were alone with my parents in our childhood home alone without kids and spouses in decades. That was in and of itself a funny time - falling into old habits and old roles. Then, take on the task of moving dad and that added an interesting dynamic.

I realized that I needed to nest the space where he would be living. I wanted him (and my mom) to feel comfortable and safe and happy and feel like it was a new home. The first time I walked in the room was very sad for me. It was so stark and cold. After lots of love and runs to home and nearby stores, we were able to make it so much better. Mom took great care in making his box for outside of his room (that way he knows it is his room). Here are some before and after shots.

It truly is a strange time. Mourning an incredible man while he is still living. Loving a person who is changing every day and with every breath is losing more of the person we knew all of our lives. But, appreciating the parts of him that are still there but exhibiting differently. I hate that this is how people will remember my dad but I hope that people still see him when they look deep into his eyes and see the dad that will always be there, somewhere.

Time to put on Like Gold by Vance Joy and let's get cooking!!

This recipe. Oh this recipe. It is such a favorite and I have only started making it myself recently. My friend, Rebecca, makes this and every time I want to eat the entire pot, er….bowl. It is so delicious and comforting and since we have moved into another house (yes, our 3rd in 5 years), I have made it several times. This is the first time I am posting a picture of the recipe because I love how worn it is. I love how we know it as tortilla soup but the recipe calls it something different. I love how Rebecca has changed the recipe and made it her own. I love that this soup evokes emotions and memories and brings a smile instantly to my face. It is a perfect fall/winter meal. Enjoy!!!!

Here are some shots of the soup preparation and finished meal....

Have a wonderful day everyone and happy cooking!!!

When you can't think of a title for your blog post......

 

My last blog post was written on July 20 which in truth seems like a lifetime ago. And what an incredible testament to Allison's impact on people was proven by the sheer numbers who read a little post about an amazing and beautiful person. My blog usually renders about 200-550 reads a post. The post about Allison reached over 1500 reads. That to me said so much about the person she was. I am forever grateful to have known you, my friend.

Since my last post, my friend, Tim, passed away from cancer. The same cancer that McCain and Kennedy experienced. His services were on Friday and I was very upset to miss them. He was a man I had deep respect for and he was a true gentleman in the real sense of the word. As my friend Doris said, he was one of the good guys and there aren't a ton of good guys in the world. It breaks my heart that he has left this world too young because the world was a better place with him in it. And I am so incredibly appreciative that I knew you, Tim, because you taught me a great deal about what is important in life and what it means to be a good person.

So, of course, these kinds of life events give me pause. They make me think about the world and about struggles we all face in life. It makes me think about the balance of thinking about life and analyzing life versus just living it. Just being. The balance of letting things fall off your shoulders versus holding them inside. The balance of letting emotions land inside and stick there, feeling powerless to control. The feelings of being numb because if you start allowing the emotions in, will they ever leave. The balance of wanting to connect with the community through social media and understanding the image that is being presented in that space. Balancing seeing in those many forums the image of the perfect life and what you are missing out on because you weren't included or were not there and being happy for the people that they are able to have that experience. Those feelings affect people of all ages.

Going back to the balance of analyzing life versus living it. That is a tough one. It is tough to realize your role in your own happiness because sometimes you feel out of control of your own emotions. They control you instead of you controlling them. And that can be incredibly overwhelming and even make you feel very alone and foggy. They can make you feel like you are just going through the motions of life instead of truly living it. From experience, I know this. And it is very difficult to then figure out how to take back that control. To think outward instead of inward and to realize you aren't alone and that everyone struggles. Sometimes the seemingly happiest people are the ones that struggle the most.  To grasp that life is a real gift is something we all take for granted at some point in our lives. To grasp that life can change in a single instant and to appreciate all that is here, good and bad, is so important and yet so challenging at times. To be able to gain perspective of yourself as being your spine and your center and that the pressures can create tension and pain but that you need to breathe. You need to give yourself space. You need to feel the emotions but then understand them and step outside of yourself and watch them pass by, leaving you lighter.

I think of the image of teenagers in high school and college whose image was of a kid with angst and drama and figuring themselves out yet their shoulders were relaxed because they weren't dealing with "real life" yet. Young adults being all emotion but enjoying the extreme highs along with the extreme lows. Freedom from real life and real responsibility so emotions are more raw and unbridled. I think that that reality has changed over time. I think that shoulders and backs are a bit more heavy.  Pressures can be more pronounced and kids feel things a lot more deeply now, earlier than ever. I think that is very sad and I wish I could take that away. Kids can also be awful to each other in a way that cuts to the core and we hold onto those experiences as adults. Whether you were the person hurting or the person being hurt. Adults have the upper hand because we have the life experience and the ability to see the big picture over time. Kids are stuck in the moment. Compassion and tenderness for all goes a long way in this world yet I think that is the first thing we all forget.

Sometimes I wish we could all just be...…..Appreciate and just be. Together.

Put on Monster by Mumford and Sons and let's get cooking.

I went to my friend's house for dinner a few weeks ago and had a shrimp dish that I quietly (or not so quietly) became completely obsessed with throughout the course of the night. So obsessed that I made it the following week and pretty much ate the entire thing by myself. 

Simple Marinated Shrimp, Taste of Home

Ingredients

·         2 pounds cooked medium shrimp, peeled and deveined

·         1 medium red onion, sliced and separated into rings

·         2 medium lemons, cut into slices

·         1 cup pitted ripe olives, drained

·         1/2 cup olive oil

·         1/3 cup minced fresh parsley

·         3 tablespoons lemon juice

·         3 tablespoons red wine vinegar

·         1 garlic clove, minced

·         1 bay leaf

·         1 tablespoon minced fresh basil or 1 teaspoon dried basil

·         1 teaspoon salt

·         1 teaspoon ground mustard

·         1/4 teaspoon pepper

In a 3-qt glass serving bowl, combine the shrimp, onion, lemons and olives. In a jar with a tight-fitting lid, combine the remaining ingredients; shake well. Pour over shrimp mixture and stir gently to coat,

Cover and refrigerate for 24 hours, stirring occasionally. Discard bay leaf before serving. 

Enjoy and have a happy day, everyone. 

Allison and the Outlaws! An ode to a true rock star!!

These are the outlaws. Not all of the outlaws are present in the picture but it is important to understand that we are represented in the Grossman Spicer family! (Smiling Broadly).

I am writing two blogs in five days. I guess I have to work through a fair amount this week. Today, I am writing because this popped up in my email yesterday.

My entire day was spent thinking about Allison and what an incredible person she is, and how she is a true inspiration to so many people. How she is an inspiration to me. I am not adequately able to express my emotions here but I will try. I frequently call Allison a rock star. Her fight has been long. Her fight has been beautiful. Her fight has been from deep within. She has had to face mortality at too young of an age (and all that entails) and she has never wavered in her strength and determination. In all the hard times and better times, Allison has never stopped reaching out. Allison has never stopped living. Allison has never stopped creating new experiences for her and her family. (By the way, Allison is the outlaw in blue in the picture above.)

I think about when my kids were very young and decided three days before the Breast Cancer walk that they wanted to participate. We gently told the girls that was not possible because one needed to train for such a walk but that we could go to the start and see Allison and her team. Allison's smile was bright. Her shoulders were broad and there was a glow emanating from her that was unmistakable. That day, Sosie and Sage's eyes were widened. Their hearts were huge and they felt grateful to just be there and see her. They understood the meaning at a very young age. It was a moment.

I think about when I personally was struggling and I was really struggling. It was a dark time for me. Allison took time to help me. She reached out to me. In all of the complexities and challenges of her own life, she took the time to reach out. What she said was so profound and so helpful on many levels. Those words and actions affect me to this day. It also helped me look beyond me. It made me look beyond what I was dealing with and in retrospect it was crucial to getting better.

I think about when I first met Allison and how we immediately clicked. We always wished we lived closer because there was a sense of a real closeness there. A potential of something and somehow knowing that potential has been incredibly comforting. Allison is the wife of Kelley's cousin, Charlie. They have two sons and have been through it yet they are together. They are real.

I think of the family events, happy and sad, where we have been together. I think of the moments where we chatted about families, kids and life in general. I think of the times we were just in the same room. I think of the laughter and tears.

I think about Allison, Shannon and I at the wedding where the outlaw picture was taken above. We had a great moment outside sitting at a table. It was a beautiful night and we had such a meaningful conversation among all of the fun and revelry.

I think about this world. This crazy, crazy world, seemingly crazier by the day, if that is even possible. I think about the nastiness of the world. But then I think about Allison. I think about how she is to others. How kind and thoughtful. How strong she is to face something no one should ever have to face especially at this stage in her life. I am angry and incredibly sad that she is in this position but then I think of her. She is an example of how one should live in the moment. How one should be kind, face challenges head on, hold on to the positives of life, connect with the people that are meaningful to you, think of others and live life fully. I love her. She is my hero. She is a rock star. She is.

In Allison's words, "Listen to Once A Day and I'm Alive and Shake it, Shake it Shake it! by Michael Franti and Spearhead. So good!" and let's get cooking. 

I am getting ready for vacation in the mountains at Lake Toxaway. I am making bbq sauce and ribs for the first night. I  have blogged about this in the past so thought I would repeat it. My friend and co-vacationer was able to recall the exact blog post and so it was easy to find!

Click Here to go to the recipe for Barefoot Contessa's BC Barbecue Sauce
The sauce goes on so many things and is so versatile. I can't wait for my second meal with it. 

Have a happy day, everyone!

Musings from an airport

Ok so this is going to be a different kind of blog post. I’m sitting in an airport in Pennsylvania, waiting seemingly endlessly for my flight to Charlotte. So far there have been 10 changes to my flight and now it is very possible that I won’t make my 10:30 pm connection in Charlotte to Augusta.

So what does one do with all of this time?? I will say it is a definite challenge to my level of patience. After vacillating between anger, frustration and insanity, I have opened my tiny browser on my phone, put on Pandora and have started to write. I have found peace.

After my last post I hit a writing snag so I didn’t write for a few weeks. I wasn’t sure what to write about in my next post.  A writing block of sorts. A friend had defriended me on Facebook I believe as a result of my post which surprised me and made me a little sad. It sounds so weird to write this at the age of 47. Someone defriended me on Facebook. I do so enjoy writing yet I do feel feel nervous putting myself out there in the blogosphere. I do feel badly if someone is upset by my writing or experiences. They are my own and I only speak for me. One of my goals in this life is to connect people, not divide, and I apologize if my last post divided in some way.

Back to the reason of why I am sitting in an airport for hours. I was in Bethlehem visiting my parents for a few days and wouldn’t have missed the opportunity to spend time here, even with this horrendous delay. I’m grateful for the ability to see them. I’m grateful for my husband and kids for giving me the time to come. I’m grateful for the ability to hear my mom share a story or talk about a book she is reading or share an hour watching one of her television programs or have lunch out at our favorite restaurant. I’m grateful for the ability to walk a block to the nearby farm market and pick fresh, local fruit, vegetables and flowers for my mom. I’m grateful for the ability to give her a little help at home. I’m grateful for the opportunity to have my dad look in my eyes in a particularly lucid moment and say he wished he could be with me when my mom dropped me off at the airport. The visit always flies and grateful for the opportunity.

I’m grateful. I’m grateful for my family and my friends and my life and my history, hard times and happy times. I’m grateful for different experiences, cultures, opinions, religions,, pretty much everything. I’m grateful for all differences because that’s what makes us unique. Looking into the differences you find the similarities that bind us.

This blog has been about finding a moment every day where you are truly present. I guess I found my moment today.

Put on two songs and let’s get cooking! Wagon Wheel by Old Crow Medicine Show and First Class by Rainbow Kitten Surprise.

Seeing as I can’t quite figure out how to add photos in this format I thought I’d talk about outdoor dining. We recently went to Boston to visit friends and family. We had many experiences dining outdoors. Many meals. Many different settings. There is something incredibly wonderful about being outside and sharing a meal. Sometimes I have a hard time because of my anti relationship to biting insects but it is so worth it. There’s space. There’s a lovely backdrop. There’s fresh air.  It somehow feels more alive. Light some candles. Mix a cocktail or a mocktail and enjoy the solitude or the company. Take a deep breath and smile from within.

Thank you for indulging me with my thoughts (and typos) as I still sit waiting for my plane.  Have a wonderful evening.

The things we hold onto...

The things we all hold onto affect us deeply.

From the way someone's tone sounded when they said something to you to someone cutting you off when driving. From the feeling that you aren't being appreciated at work or home to a mistake you made that is still with you. From the moment that shaped you as a child to the way it still affects your relationships as an adult. From the deep anger at something that happened to you to the shakiness you feel when you see someone who has hurt you to your core. From the silly error in judgement to the stupid thing you said when you had other things on your mind. From the look someone gave you to the subtle way they asked you a question.

The things we all hold onto affect us deeply.

It is time.
It is time.

"Turn your face towards the sun. Let the shadows fall behind you. Don't look back, just carry on. And the shadows will never find you." Rihanna

I have been thinking so much about the emotions I carry that play a role in my actions and the ones other carry on their shoulders. In our school community there has been a vocal minority that has been a negative presence for over a year. Anger and resentment hasfueled plain ugliness. Communities have sought to be destroyed. Minds have been closed and it has been a weight for everyone on all sides (and there are sides), most especially the kids. It is time. It is time for people who are unhappy to find their own way and let everyone else live and grow and thrive. I want the unhappy people to find their happy. I want their shoulders to lift and breathe in the beautiful fresh air. I want the school community, MY school community, to be the best they can be and it to fully heal, and to be able to heal. I want everyone to have altruistic reasons for their actions. This world needs more kindness. This world needs to have us all think of each other.

There have been two "celebrity" suicides within the last week. Suicide is such a complex and poignant example of holding onto things. Things that weigh you down so much that the alternative to living is more desirable. The desperation and the emptiness one must feel to remove themselves from this earth. Seeing and knowing that people who are in the public eye have those same problems of anxiety and depression spotlights the mental illness issue. But the issue is there always. I remember when a student committed suicide at Prep within the last couple of years. I was blogging then. Here is an excerpt.
___________________________________

My heart is very heavy today.

A student from school committed suicide last night. It is always shocking and it is always heartbreaking when something like this happens, especially in your own communities. Lately, I have been hearing so much about kids all over the country, big schools, small schools, public and private, who are doing things to hurt themselves and then this.....it is so heartbreaking on so many different levels.

For me, I think of the complete desperation one must feel.

For me, I send my deepest compassion to all of the families who deal with depression and anxiety in their kids every day, and especially to those whose children take their own lives.

For me, I send love and deep strength to all of the kids who feel so alone.

For me, I think of my peer in my high school who took her life and the deep effects it had on our own small community.

For me, I think of my cousin, Edward.

For me, I think of my kids and how they will handle this tragic news.

For me, I want kids to be kids for as long as humanly possible.

For me, I think of the increasing pressure kids feel every day. The weight you have on your shoulders to do more, be more, be the best in sports, be the prettiest or most handsome, get the best grades, do as many activities as you possibly can. Then, completely differentiate yourself from your peers so that you can get into a good college, then grad school. That way you can get a great job that pays a lot of money and then you will be happy. It is exhausting just thinking about it.

For me, all I want to do is give my girls a hug. Let them know I love them, and am always here for them, unconditionally, and am so proud they are my daughters. I am grateful I get to be their mom. If they need to talk to someone and it can't be me, that is totally fine! As long as they talk. As long as it is someone they can trust.

For me, I want mental health to become a priority in this country. Let therapy become a normal thing instead of having a stigma attached to it. Instead of being something not discussed, bring it into the open. It is hard growing up. It is hard for parents to parent! Parents have never been parents until they are in fact, parents! I am not going to do everything right and they aren't going to everything right as kids. It is a growing process as families to be together, figuring it out, as we go. A little extra help along the way is a very good thing.

For me, I need to acknowledge the sadness I feel. I don't know this particular family but I still feel very sad. I send love, support, and deepest thoughts and concern to all who loved her, all who knew her, and hope that happy memories as well as compassion fill the voids left in their hearts.

For me, I want to yell from the tree tops that no one is alone. There is always help. No matter how sad you are, how alone you are, you are truly never alone. There is always someone who can help.

For me, I want all my friends and families to know that they are loved. You are special and you are never alone.

For me, I realize that in time, life moves on. It has to. The sun will set, the sun will rise. With each passing moment, I take hold. I realize that life is so fragile and so fleeting. You must grab the simple moments where you can, grab your place in time and cherish it. Hold onto it. Suck the marrow from it. Seize the day. Seize the moment. 

________________________________________

These are the times when we need to all find space, breathe deeply, realize our connections to each other, COMMUNICATE, have those difficult conversations so that we can release what holds us down and be together. We can disagree. We can have different outlooks on life. We can have different politics or religious beliefs. But we need to be open minded and we need to respect each other. Letting go allows for this.

It is amazing that we have been in Augusta for almost 5 years. It took me almost 4 years to feel comfortable in this new place. I miss being around family. I miss being around people who have known me for decades. I miss family friends where our kids have grown up together, where people really know ME. I question all the time, was this the right thing for me, for us, for our family that we moved and have stayed down here? Knowing how our leaving has affected everyone in our lives and how leaving them affected us as well. Life is hard. Everywhere. It is also a gift, even in the places you don't expect, it is still a gift. Learning different ways of life expands the mind. Seeing a different part of the country or the world opens your eyes to options. Being here isn't always easy but it is all part of this amazing journey we are on in this lifetime. Home is inside you. Sometimes I have a hard time finding that moment of calm, of feeling settled, of peace. But it is there, waiting. Each simple moment.

Now put on One Red Thread by Blind Pilot and let's get cooking.

One of my favorite foods of summer especially is pesto. The smell of basil and garlic and cheese is quite intoxicating. Like chimichurri, you can add anything to pesto. The flavors blend and feel like that breath of fresh air or the yoga pose that brings you an epiphany.

Pesto, by Ina Garten 
Ingredients
1/4 cup walnuts

1/4 cup pignolis (pine nuts)

3 tablespoons chopped garlic (9 cloves) (I use less)
5 cups fresh basil leaves, packed
1 teaspoon kosher salt (I omit)
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 1/2 cups good olive oil (I go by taste)
1 cup freshly grated Parmesan  (I use more)

Directions

Place the walnuts, pignolis, and garlic in the bowl of a food processor fitted with a steel blade. Process for 15 seconds. Add the basil leaves, salt, and pepper. With the processor running, slowly pour the olive oil into the bowl through the feed tube and process until the pesto is thoroughly pureed. Add the Parmesan and puree for a minute. Use right away or store the pesto in the refrigerator or freezer with a thin film of olive oil on top.

Enjoy and have a happy day, everyone...…

A Tale of Two Sisters

As you may know I have two daughters, ages 14 and 16. I write those numbers and I am staring at them in disbelief. How can I feel like I was 16 just a few years ago and yet have a 16 year old daughter? But then my 30th high school reunion is around the corner and my youngest is graduating from 8th grade today.

Each stage of parenting is difficult and complex and feels like the hardest one but parenting teenage daughters is definitely a pinnacle moment for me. As tough and frustrating and rewarding as it is, and as much as I feel that I am failing at my job, I am incredibly grateful they have each other.

They are 22 months apart in age and from the way I carried them in me to today, they are very different kids. Except they are also very similar. One is often compared to my husband, Kelley. One is often compared to me. One is naturally athletic and things come a little easier for her when she works hard at it. One has to work hard at something and still has to fight for it. They were born gestationally on the same day, four and a half weeks early. One ended up in the NICU. One came home with us when we left the hospital. I remember being in the hospital waiting for Sage to be born, holding a picture of Sosie in my hand and feeling so worried that Sosie would feel sad or somehow betrayed that we had introduced someone new to the family. When we were all home, Sosie sat on the stairs with me and said, "Me no want Sage". After months of countless books on introducing a new sibling into the family, here we were. I said, "Sosie. Sage is part of our family now and she loves you very much. In fact, she loves you so much that she got you this present." Cue the gift!!! Sosie ran over to her sister after opening the present and said she loved her. Their story began. This was the first time Sosie saw her sister.

They do love each other. There was the time Sosie decided to sleep in Sage's room for a year. We even bought sheets and a blanket for her to use in there. There was the time Sosie wanted to run away from home and I asked her who I should call to be her new mom and Sage was in the background hysterical crying that her sister might leave her. There were the summers they traveled to PA and DC every summer with my parents for 2 weeks starting at the age of 2 and 3, so they learned to be together and rely on each other. There was the time the girls wore matching necklaces to symbolize their love for each other. Family.

This was a challenging school year. For many reasons. Kelley took on a new role at work. Sosie had two concussions, a health scare, a car accident and learned to adjust to life as a teenage driver and as a 16 year old in this day and age. Sage faced new challenges and learned to sit in the front seat of the car when someone was driving, literally and figuratively. Close friends had moved away and there were adjustments and growth abound. If you looked at both kids, you'd assume Sage had the better year. Her grades are incredibly strong. She had many successes and worked very hard to achieve those successes. She played varsity soccer with her sister and was on the field more often than not. Yes, that created a bit of tension but Sosie's pride for her sister never waned. As hard as it was at times, love overcame. 

I look at their years differently. Sosie faced countless challenges and each one she met them head on. She faltered and sometimes fell but every single time she got back up again. With a smile on her face for the world to see. Even when inside it might have felt differently. With strife there is growth. The journey can be painful but I am so proud of where she is now and will continue to go. Sage struggles differently and puts a ton of pressure on herself and her stress comes out at moments sometimes when you least expect it. But in the end, they are both young women who are figuring out this crazy world. It isn't easy and their paths are different but they have strength and grit and....each other. I remember Kelley and I used to think we were so different when we were dating. It was a sticking point for us. But then, then, a very sage person said to us - you are more alike than you are different. And we realized that she was right. So, even when Sosie and Sage seem like they are different, I see all of their similarities. And I look at the world that way. Yes, people are uniquely different and there are many qualities that make every person special across the world. But remember, we are all human. We are all so similar and have like experiences, even in the smallest of details. It is time to treat each other that way. In the meantime, I am so grateful my girls have each other.

Time to put on Hopeless Wanderer by Mumford and Sons and let's get cooking.

Today I am doing something different. On the pages section of my blog, I have two pages of recipes. Over 80 recipes included. Time to pick your favorite recipe from your life. It can be a childhood meal. It can be one you have make every week. It can be one that takes some time or one that only takes minutes to prepare. Find one. Choose one. And enjoy the process of cooking it. Enjoy the moment, the simple moment.

Have a great day!

Remember all of your senses in those simple moments

Lately I have been thinking about all of the senses that the human body generally has, including hearing, sight, touch, smell, and taste. Of course there has always been discussion about the sixth sense or intuition as well. We use these senses in different ways all day long to live our every day lives. Some people have stronger individual senses than others and some don't have a particular sense so rely on others even more so.

How many of you rely on your senses with memory? Which ones? A certain sight might catch you remembering, or hearing a particular song or tasting a meal that touched your soul. For me, I think about a particular sound that comes in the spring/summer, along with the warmth of the sun, that brings me back to my backyard at my childhood home. Smelling the air. Hearing the birds and insects alive in just a certain way can instantly bring me back 40 years in an instant. I remember the way my grandparent's house smelled-a mix of history, life, Armenian food, books, love, safety, home. Sitting 11-20 people in one modest room, the television in the background and books on the shelves witness to multiple conversations about everything from family history to food to love to sports to politics. Boboo would have been 102 yesterday.

Pictures do a lot to bring memories to life. Sometimes photographs become the memory itself as years wear on and small details fade.

I think about technology and the role it plays in our lives now. It has always played a role in life across generations. On this Mother's Day, I think about our lives as children and I think about our childrens' lives. How they have never not known life without a school shooting in the news, or life without a cell phone. While it is difficult for us to identify with what it is like to be a teenager in this day and age, I think about the power of their technology. While it is terrifying, it is also truly amazing. The fact that they have all of these ways to express their creativity and themselves is awesome. They are able to take a picture and design it and post it to share with their community. They are able to share music among their friends in an instant. There are many negatives to the positives of course and I hope they don't forget to experience life and not just document it but then I think about the fact that this is the present and the future. We need to support them and find ways to make sure they utilize their skills and talents in all forms. Making sure that every kid understands what makes them unique, special and important in this crazy world.

Like Sage's picture from art class above, Be yourself. Be kind. Accept others. Forget haters.

Put on Flapper Girl by The Lumineers and let's get cooking!!

This year I ventured into meal services and there are a million of them out there now. Life got a little crazy and I went through a serious rut of figuring out new recipes that the family would enjoy. Having two meals determined for me during the week was just very helpful. We have tried two different services. Hello Fresh and Plated. Hands down I like Plated better in terms of the tastes and the recipes and the kinds of meals are more suited to my liking. I think the quality of the food is also better and as you would imagine, it is a tiny bit more expensive. I will say that my kids probably like Hello Fresh better because I would say the recipes have more comfort food meals included.

That said, I am going to include a link to a meal I made this week from Plated. I really enjoyed it because I love the tastes in this food. Plus it was pretty and colorful. It wasn't as popular with the kids but it was very good.

Moroccan Beef Kefta

The finished product:

Enjoy and have a happy day, everyone!!!! 

Practice Aloha

Practice Aloha. This picture is of a bumper sticker and saying all over this cool restaurant in Lahaina, Maui called Honu (sea turtle). Our family had a conversation about what this means over cocktails and mocktails. Aloha means hello. We all immediately gravitated to kindness. Saying hello is kindness. Practicing kindness. Practice saying hello and being kind to everyone. It stuck with me. And it certainly rang true with the culture of Maui.

Kelley and I went to Maui and Kauai for our honeymoon (almost 20 years ago-omg, 20 years-I feel very old!!) and we have been wanting to return ever since. At first, we said we would go back at 5 years and at 5 years, we laughed heartily and moved on. Finally, the stars aligned and we went for our 20th and it didn't occur to us NOT to bring Sosie and Sage as it was on their bucket list of places to go. In fact, we had been talking about it for years. Maui was much busier and there was much more traffic and many more buildings. The airport was a great deal larger. But the soul was the same. The culture was there.

Each family member chose an adventure and we scheduled them. One by one, we took ownership of our family experiences. To return 20 years into our marriage with the biggest gifts of our marriage was incredibly meaningful. I am just so freaking grateful.

Kelley's adventure was for the family to take surfing lessons. I tried to schedule a spa appointment during that time but, no dice, I was out there in the ocean with everyone, facing some fears of my own. The sight of me on the board was one to behold, let me tell you, but I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Seeing my two girls get up on a surf board without missing a beat and look so natural filled my heart with a pride I can't really express. Sage had a dog on her board for a full run and I so wish I had a picture of it but having that memory is almost better. It also brought back very fond memories of surfing in Maine with Felicia and her kids. Surfing struck a chord with Sage. She immediately wanted to move to Maui, become a local and surf in competitions. Kelley was blown away at how hard it was to surf, even on a tiny wave, and loved when he started to feel more connected and that it clicked for him. Sosie learned that she did better when she just went on instinct and didn't think too hard about what she was doing.

Sage's adventure was to snorkel and snuba with sea turtles. In fact, Sage saw many sea turtles. She was fascinated with them. We saw them at the beach, snorkeling and in many places but funnily enough, NOT when we went snuba. I didn't remember sea turtles being so prolific on Hawaii when we went last time. Sage has always adored turtles and attaches many feelings to her experiences with them. "Mom - Are they happy. There was only one there. Is he lonely or sad. His expression looked unhappy." I looked up what sea turtles represented. The inter-webs said that sea turtles often typify patience, wisdom, endurance and good luck. I can handle that. So what we lacked in turtles during snuba we made up for in whales. We were within 10 feet of a mom and baby whale. Swimming, jumping, breeching. Incredible sights. Sosie told me that I kept saying that we are just visitors here in their home. Pretty amazing to witness nature at work.

Mine was to do a hike and zipline through an organization named Hike Maui. We had done a hike with them on our honeymoon.  A much different organization now but still very fun. I wanted the kids to see things in nature that they couldn't see except to walk to it and something they couldn't see anywhere else but in Hawaii. We did some ziplines and on the drive there saw a part of Maui that was incredibly beautiful. More residential, less touristy and very lush. We hiked to two waterfalls, including one they could jump off from - yes, I said they. I haven't jumped off a bridge or waterfall since the bridge on Martha's Vineyard many years ago. But, Kelley and the kids took multiple leaps of faith and took lots of pictures in the rainforest of Maui. We saw plants and trees that you don't see other places and had a great day.

Sosie's adventure was a helicopter tour and unfortunately it was cancelled twice due to weather. We were all incredibly disappointed but that just made me realize that we are not finished with Hawaii. There is more for us there. We will need to return together. I was so excited for Sosie's adventure because it signified a lot about her - spirit for adventure, willingness to face fear of heights, interest in seeing the bigger picture of the island and to then have access to smaller details and areas that she wouldn't be able to experience otherwise.

There are two other highlights I would like to mention with your permission. We went to a restaurant we used to visit on Martha's Vineyard frequently.  There are a few restaurants in New England and then one on Maui. We went there and ended up eating there 3 times. A bit of comfort, a bit of home in Paia, Maui.

Finally, we were trying all week to get to the volcano, Haleakala. We were concerned that it would be cloudy without a view. One day Sage said, "Let's go. We can sit at the pool any time. We can't visit a volcano every day." So, off we went. Turns out it is the tallest mountain in the world. I know, I know. Everest. BUT, if you count the mountain below sea level, then it is taller. 19,000+ feet below sea level, 10,000 feet+ above sea level. Pretty stunning to think about. And, it was the tallest mountain at 10,000 feet + that the girls had ever been at the top of in their lives. Above the clouds, above the tree line. 

So, some vacations are for pure relaxation. Some are for adventure. Some have meaning because you have never been and it is a bucket list item. Some have meaning because you have been and it is a special place where you breathe just a little better. A place where your shoulders relax and you can take a little more in. A place that speaks to your core a little bit. It opens your world a little. It gives you a little bit of space and allows you expand. 

Time to put on Upside Down by Jack Johnson (Hawaii native) and let's get cooking. 

This meal I made quite awhile ago and wasn't blogging at the time so didn't take pictures during the actual preparation but it was so pretty that I decided to photograph it at the end. Seeing as it was 87 degrees today, I thought it was a perfect day to post it. 

Smitten Kitchen's Beefsteak Skirt Steak Salad (from Smitten Kitchen, Every Day, Deb Perelman)

Vinaigrette

·         1 large or 2 small garlic cloves

·         1 1/2 cups (55 grams) packed coarsely chopped fresh basil leaves

·         1/2 cup (20 grams) packed fresh flat-leaf parsley leaves

·         1/3 cup (80 ml) olive oil

·         1 tbsp (15 ml) plus 1 tsp (5 ml) white wine vinegar

·         2 tsp (10 grams) smooth Dijon mustard

·         Salt and freshly ground black pepper

·         Pinches of crushed red pepper flakes, to taste

Salad and assembly

·         2 to 3 cups (40 to 60 grams) mixed salad greens (optional)

·         1 1/2 pounds (680 grams) beefsteak tomatoes, in thick half-moon slices

·         1/2 cup (4 ounces or 115 grams) thickly crumbled blue cheese

·         1/2 medium red onion, very thinly sliced

·         1 pound (455 grams) skirt steak, trimmed of excess fat if necessary, at room temperature

·         1 tbsp (15 ml) olive oil

Make the dressing
In a blender or food processor, pulse the garlic, basil, and parsley together until they’re chopped as finely as you can get them. With the machine running, drizzle in the olive oil, then the vinegar and mustard, scraping down the sides as needed. Season with salt, black pepper, and red pepper flakes to taste. No machine? Mince the garlic and herbs as finely as you can with a knife, transfer them to a bowl, and, whisking the whole time, slowly drizzle in the olive oil and vinegar before seasoning with salt and peppers.

Make the salad

If using salad greens, place them first on a platter. Arrange the tomatoes on top, fanned out and slightly overlapped. Scatter half of the blue cheese and onion over the tomatoes. Pat the steak dry, and season on both sides with 1/2 tsp salt and many grinds of black pepper.

To cook the steak on the stove

Heat your largest, heaviest skillet over medium-high to high heat, and add 1 tbsp olive oil. When the oil is very hot, place the steak in the skillet, and do not move it for 5 minutes. Turn it once, and cook for another 3 minutes for medium-rare. If your steak is larger than your biggest skillet, cut it in half and cook it in two pieces.

To cook the steak on a grill

Prepare a hot charcoal or high-heat gas grill for cooking. Lightly oil the grill rack, and grill the steak, turning once, 4 to 6 minutes for medium-rare. If you’re using a gas grill, it’s best to keep the lid on while grilling, to prevent heat loss.

To finish

Transfer the steak to a cutting board, and cover it loosely with foil while it rests for 5 minutes. Thinly slice the steak on the diagonal, across the grain, and arrange over the tomatoes. Scatter with the remaining blue cheese and onion. Drizzle vinaigrette on top, or serve it on the side.

Enjoy and have a happy day everyone!