Each stage of parenting is difficult and complex and feels like the hardest one but parenting teenage daughters is definitely a pinnacle moment for me. As tough and frustrating and rewarding as it is, and as much as I feel that I am failing at my job, I am incredibly grateful they have each other.
They are 22 months apart in age and from the way I carried them in me to today, they are very different kids. Except they are also very similar. One is often compared to my husband, Kelley. One is often compared to me. One is naturally athletic and things come a little easier for her when she works hard at it. One has to work hard at something and still has to fight for it. They were born gestationally on the same day, four and a half weeks early. One ended up in the NICU. One came home with us when we left the hospital. I remember being in the hospital waiting for Sage to be born, holding a picture of Sosie in my hand and feeling so worried that Sosie would feel sad or somehow betrayed that we had introduced someone new to the family. When we were all home, Sosie sat on the stairs with me and said, "Me no want Sage". After months of countless books on introducing a new sibling into the family, here we were. I said, "Sosie. Sage is part of our family now and she loves you very much. In fact, she loves you so much that she got you this present." Cue the gift!!! Sosie ran over to her sister after opening the present and said she loved her. Their story began. This was the first time Sosie saw her sister.
They do love each other. There was the time Sosie decided to sleep in Sage's room for a year. We even bought sheets and a blanket for her to use in there. There was the time Sosie wanted to run away from home and I asked her who I should call to be her new mom and Sage was in the background hysterical crying that her sister might leave her. There were the summers they traveled to PA and DC every summer with my parents for 2 weeks starting at the age of 2 and 3, so they learned to be together and rely on each other. There was the time the girls wore matching necklaces to symbolize their love for each other. Family.
This was a challenging school year. For many reasons. Kelley took on a new role at work. Sosie had two concussions, a health scare, a car accident and learned to adjust to life as a teenage driver and as a 16 year old in this day and age. Sage faced new challenges and learned to sit in the front seat of the car when someone was driving, literally and figuratively. Close friends had moved away and there were adjustments and growth abound. If you looked at both kids, you'd assume Sage had the better year. Her grades are incredibly strong. She had many successes and worked very hard to achieve those successes. She played varsity soccer with her sister and was on the field more often than not. Yes, that created a bit of tension but Sosie's pride for her sister never waned. As hard as it was at times, love overcame.
I look at their years differently. Sosie faced countless challenges and each one she met them head on. She faltered and sometimes fell but every single time she got back up again. With a smile on her face for the world to see. Even when inside it might have felt differently. With strife there is growth. The journey can be painful but I am so proud of where she is now and will continue to go. Sage struggles differently and puts a ton of pressure on herself and her stress comes out at moments sometimes when you least expect it. But in the end, they are both young women who are figuring out this crazy world. It isn't easy and their paths are different but they have strength and grit and....each other. I remember Kelley and I used to think we were so different when we were dating. It was a sticking point for us. But then, then, a very sage person said to us - you are more alike than you are different. And we realized that she was right. So, even when Sosie and Sage seem like they are different, I see all of their similarities. And I look at the world that way. Yes, people are uniquely different and there are many qualities that make every person special across the world. But remember, we are all human. We are all so similar and have like experiences, even in the smallest of details. It is time to treat each other that way. In the meantime, I am so grateful my girls have each other.
Time to put on Hopeless Wanderer by Mumford and Sons and let's get cooking.
Today I am doing something different. On the pages section of my blog, I have two pages of recipes. Over 80 recipes included. Time to pick your favorite recipe from your life. It can be a childhood meal. It can be one you have make every week. It can be one that takes some time or one that only takes minutes to prepare. Find one. Choose one. And enjoy the process of cooking it. Enjoy the moment, the simple moment.
Have a great day!
