Some suggest that suffering is what connects us. Other suggest that love is the answer. Still others say compassion. What do you think?
I tend to think that it is all of the above and more. There is a depth to our consciousness and subconsciousness and while we don't tend to show each other all of our layers, it is within the nooks and crannies that the good stuff is hidden. There are so many beautiful, unique differences between all of us - cultures, backgrounds, experiences, personalities, appearances, beliefs. Those differences are what make the world truly beautiful. The layers tend to get missed by social media. Social media shows only one lens and there are so many more layers to each person, so many parts, so many emotions.
What would you say is the opposite of love? Many people have said hate, indifference or fear. Let's focus on fear for a moment.
Fear sometimes overshadows the opportunities for growth and understanding. Fear of having the difficult conversations. Fear of accepting that we all have biases and the key is understanding them so that they don't affect how we treat others. Fear of allowing ourselves to get close or be vulnerable because we might get hurt. Fear of stepping outside of our comfort zone and limiting our ability to experience.
Stephen Pressfield says that hate is not the opposite of love but in fact "the opposite of fear is love".
Bishop Robert O'Neill says, "For fear is the breeding ground - the simmering cauldron so to speak - of all the resentments, bitterness, anger, and destructive behaviors that constitute and give rise to hate. It doesn't matter whether our hatred targets others or is turned inward in a form of self-loathing. The opposite of love is not hate. The opposite of love is fear."
Paulo Reglus Neves Freire says, "The opposite of love is not, as we many times or almost always think, hatred but the fear to love, and fear to love is the fear of being free. Love softens you, fear hardens you. Love opens the universe, fear isolates you in yourself".
There is such a close relationship between love and fear, they can become each other and intertwine so easily. Srinivasan Pillay says, "we don't have to 'seek out' a spirituality of being human. It is already there-suffocating and begging beneath our fears to be released to ourselves. A connection to our dreamy, timeless selves, biologically, also connects us to the most intuitive parts of our brains." It is not a surprise then that oxytocin is the hormone linked to both fear and love.
At the University of Minnesota it was written, " Fear can interrupt processes in our brains that allow us to regulate emotions, read non-verbal cues and other information presented to us, reflect before acting, and act ethically. This impacts our thinking and decision-making n negative ways, leaving us susceptible to intense emotions and impulsive reactions."
Matthew McConaughey writes in Greenlights, "The mandorla. The paradox instead of the contradiction. The union instead of the friction. The place where all the colors live. The white light". Finding the space to lean into love, really lean into love. Love for everyone in this world and for those closest to me. To recognize fear, face fear by allowing it to flow through you, observing it. In researching on the internet, I read about five steps that transform fear into love - Start your day with love, Listen with love, Be vulnerable, Practice radical surrender and acceptance and finally Develop your powers of empathy.
Finally, Maya Angelou wrote in "Touched by an Angel":
We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.
Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.
We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love's light
we dare to be brave
And suddenly we see
that love casts all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.
Now put on Video Game by Sufjan Stevens and let's get cooking. In keeping with my fall tradition of soup, Ellie Krieger has a fantastic Beef, Barley and Many Vegetable Soup.
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Peace.
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