boneless

"Well she had no choice...Trixie bawled. She went boneless. She did everything she could to show how unhappy she was." from Knuffle Bunny by Mo Willems. 

I remember reading that line for the first time. 

"She went boneless."

Boneless. That image is always able to make me smile. Children have the ability to just do that. I think about my own girls being so sound asleep in my arms, heavy. Or when they were hysterical and simply couldn't move.

Boneless.

I think about the lack of inhibition younger people have generally.  A song comes on and they just dance. They really feel the beat, the music. In fact it is a need to do so. There is a complete lack of fear. 

I think about when they play pretend. When they use their imagination freely, by coming up with simple or elaborate scenes and situations. 

It is the process, the journey. That is the adventure. It isn't the destination. They dance like nobody is watching. Truly living in the moment. Simple moments. One after another. 

Then, we grow up. 

Naturally, we become more guarded, more aware, more careful. Our bodies become more stiff. There is a lack of space. Our breathing can even become more shallow. Fear settles in. 

I have become acutely aware of this about myself. In the fall, I went to a family wedding and my sister in law and I danced our hearts out. We sang and we danced. We let it all out for the first time in years. And honestly? It felt freaking amazing. My dad passed away the following week. When he died, I feel like a part of the fun loving side of me went dormant. Part of me crawled back inside myself. To a place that is safer, away, more distant. 

Recently, I saw a picture on Instagram of someone's mother dancing professionally as a young person. It made me pause. The beauty and the freedom of expression. Movement. I know I feel differently when I listen to music. How can I capture the rest of it? I miss those feelings! To feel more easygoing. To feel more me. To feel space and loose. To capture those moments that came so easily when I was younger. 

I have made a decision. I am chasing it. I am manifesting it by challenging myself. Every day, every week, I am going outside my comfort zone, even briefly. I am fighting the fear. It is time for the parts of me that are named fear and self-conscious to stand side by side and hold hands with the parts that are their opposite. It is time for balance. To breathe a little deeper, to look up at the light and to laugh. A deep, belly laugh.

Time to put on Last Last by Burna Boy and let's get cooking. 

I am going back to the archives for this one!!!! 

Greek-Style Burgers with Feta Aioli - Cooking Light, a million years ago

Aioli (I sometimes double this recipe because it is really good)
1/2 cup (2 ounces) crumbled feta cheese
2 T light mayo
2 T plain fat free yogurt
1/4 ground pepper
1 garlic clove minced

Burgers
5 (1/2 inch thick) slices red onion
Cooking spray
1 pd lean ground sirloin
2/3 cup fresh breadcrumbs (I use fresher than canned but not homemade)
1/3 cup chopped bottled roasted red bell peppers
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
1 tsp dried oregano
1/4 tsp salt (I omit usually)
1/4 tsp ground pepper
1 10-ounce package frozen chopped spinach, thawed, drained and squeezed dry
1 large egg, lightly beaten
2 garlic cloves, minced
rolls of your choice - they call for sourdough sandwich buns (I typically don't use a bun!)

For aioli: Combine first ingredients in a food processor, pulse one minute or until smooth. Cover and chill.

For onion: Place onion slices on a broiler pan or grill coated with cooking spray. Cook 2 minutes on each side, set aside.

For burgers: Combine beef and next 9 ingredients in a large bowl.  Divide beef mixture into 5 equal portions (I make more like 9 smaller burgers). Place patties on grill rack or broiler pan coated with cooking spray, and cook 6 minutes on each side or until burgers are done.

Spread 1 1/2 T aioli over top of the burger, along with the onions. Voila!  

Choose kindness. Every gesture counts. Peace and love always. 

-Amy